Being Vulnerable, Being Seen, Being Heard
What good could possibly come from allowing people to see behind the curtain that is your professional exterior? Countless people have preached the mantra of keeping work and home life separate. Yet, most of us could attest to the fact that our stressors outside of our organizations frequently leak into the workplace much like how our stress from work can easily transition back into the home with us. Therefore, we must be able to be vulnerable at work and allow people to see what we are going through in order to attain the types of support we may need. Additionally, this can lead to an example being set wherein your peers, coworkers, or subordinates follow suit and allow a glimpse into their lives as well, allowing for you to respond and react to the best of your ability with a larger view of the actual situation at hand.
We have all had moments when we feel misunderstood. Well, it turns out that several of those occasions could have unintentionally been self-inflicted. The general population would love to live in a reality where when we walk into work, that is solely what we can focus on. Yet, being the social creatures we are, we obviously are going to be thinking about family, friends, and potential problems at home. These residual worries and concerns will frequently spill over into our salaried hours. Where the issue lies, is that we more often than not carry these thoughts alone and in silence. Then, when something negative happens at work, or we are not responded to in a way we are needing, it compounds the negative turmoil we are facing. Not that every sour situation can be avoided, but there are ways to minimize the chances that we are misunderstood or mistreated, even if it is strictly from our own perspective.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is highlighted in numerous publications and is a sought-after tool to pinpoint certain shortcomings that may leave us feeling unsatisfied. At the base of this metaphorical pyramid, we have physiological needs such as food, water, and shelter. With the assumption that we are thinking of a typical worker, or ourselves, we can safely surmise that these needs are met most of the time. Following that is safety and security which leans heavier on health and employment. Again, we are looking at a worker so this should be taken care of. Then, we come to the next two levels which are love and belonging, and self-esteem. These relate to a sense of connection and confidence/respect of others respectively. This section of the pyramid is where we begin to falter when we shelter our true circumstances to the outside world. This is truly why vulnerability is a must.
To be able to live up to our most authentic and successful selves, we must dedicate some energy into building social support structures that will help keep us afloat when times become challenging. Venting to peers and friends to let off some steam and fill them in on what you’re going through is an excellent starting point. We’ve watched the water cooler trope play out on sitcom after sitcom, but genuinely walking away from the job and taking a moment to just banter back and forth with coworkers as people, not just colleagues, has been shown to foster more morale and camaraderie. The same goes for interactions with our bosses. Letting them in on some things that may be keeping you down is an excellent way to develop a deeper relationship and garner a better backing as they will be left with a better understanding of what is going on and why. This can skirt the traditional scenarios of letting our emotions boil over until we are called into a meeting and expected to potentially explain shoddy performance.
Being open and vulnerable with people we didn’t necessarily choose to be in our lives can be daunting. The age-old stigma of always keeping things professional still hangs heavy over the heads of most workers. Yet as we look around, we can see an endemic issue of loneliness and isolation throughout the country. Sometimes, that fear of unknown responses can be the singular barrier to entry holding us back from enjoying a richer environment laced with compassion and empathy. There are multiple times when the onus of change will be placed on your shoulders, and perhaps you will be the first person to take the step towards creating that better workplace. Now, I’m not saying we should treat everyone as our personal therapists but take the opportunity to share something deeper than arbitrary musings on the weather and watch as interpersonal dynamics flourish and give way to more meaningful interactions, potentially sidestepping the awkward dialogues entrenched in misguided assumptions and lack of clarity. Give people a chance to know what’s going on. It might just change how you feel about things.
